gettin' out of town.

I spent today miles & miles away at Stow Acres Country Club for a work-related fundraiser. When I wasn't honed in on Hole #4 - I'd been assigned the task of witnessing at the hole, since a hole-in-one made the lucky golfer eligible for a hefty cash prize - I read a little of this book, shared good conversation with great people, enjoyed the sunshine and ubiquitous green, and drove a golf cart without causing serious injury to myself or my passengers. Overall, I'd call the day a success. =)

and now, I'm drinkin' tea and being quiet and listening to mellow Jesus music. In all honesty, I need to hear and know the gospel - the good news - tonight, 'cause I feel like I've forgotten it - or, at the very least, that it applies to this weary saint.

grateful for generous friends, Subway sandwiches (for lazy nights), and new mercies that'll greet me in the morning.

you're being robbed.

I like to read Donald Miller's blog. He's one of my favorite authors because he's honest, witty, and just self-deprecating enough to be endearing (instead of annoying). His post today seeped into my mind and found a nice, cozy corner to knock around in - read it, if you'd like - and has me asking this question:

"How are my addictions and habits robbing me of a better story?"

We've all got 'em - the ways that we spend time, that tick-tock-ticking currency of living, that do little to speak beauty or truth or life into our own story or those stories being lived around us. The days pass, as days do, and we find that these ways of being - these less-than-redemptive habits and addictions - are now life, and, well, about that: when did life become so boring? As Don says: bad habits create boring stories.

I have a habit of procrastinating in facing situations/people/tasks that cause me to feel stressed. I think, maybe, that something about this act gives me an illusion of control - "I'll decide when and how and where to have that awkward conversation, thankyouverymuch!" - but regardless of the why, this is one of my own pet habits that happens to be creating a very boring, very repetitive story in my life's trajectory.

I want to live a story that shouts of life's value and beauty and goodness - you know the sort. I'm thinking that dragging my feet, making excuses, and kicking myself the next day (or week or month or year) isn't quite the way to make that happen. Anyone want to argue the point?

Here's a question [rhetorical or not-so-much, your pick]: what's robbing you?

good morning, brighteyes.

I am inspired by this lady to blog each and every day for one month. Since it's June 7th, I'm gonna try my darnedest to write something every. single. day until July 7th.

Ready...

set.....

GO!!!

Here are five of my favorite things about being up at the crack o' dawn:
1. birds just chirp-chirp-chirping away
2. sun peeking over rooftops
3. coffee. mmmmmm!
4. peace & quiet
5. the hope and promise of a new day

Happy mornin' to ya!

be your brother's keeper.

I go to church with Caroline Cobb Smith, who writes and sings beautiful songs. I recently picked up her latest album and, this morning, have a line from her song Abel running through my mind. I've heard Caroline say at a show that Abel was written in response to a friend's request that she pen a song about genocide - a tall order, no? In so doing, she returned to the biblical story of the first murder - that of Abel by his brother, Cain - and exposes, through the medium of song, the forces behind Cain's murderous heart and our own hatred and jealousy and anger toward our brothers and sisters. It's really a powerful tribute to the unspeakable pain experienced by survivors of genocide and violence and a call to the hope that is in Jesus.

Anyway, the line that I just can't get out of my head is simply this:

Please don't fight anymore//Be your brother's keeper//We are brothers

In light of the recent violence in Russia (and Iraq, Afghanistan, Mexico, Colombia, etc etc), my heart longs for peace. I sing with Caroline - 'please don't fight anymore!' - and look to the day when the lion will lie with the lamb and peace will come.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.
O divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
Amen.
St. Francis

If you're so inclined, you can click here to listen to Abel.

the single most powerful question you can ask

Read this...

then, this:

what if?
what if I listened more?
what if I went back to school?
what if I mentored a young girl?
what if I gave away more of my income?
what if I bought a guitar and wrote some songs?
what if I went to India?
what if I wrote some every day?
what if I took an acting class?
what if I ran a half-marathon?
what if I talked with a therapist?
what if I learned how to sew?
what if I ate more raw foods?
what if I decided to stop eating meat?
what if I told my story?
what if I stopped being jealous?
what if I found a place to serve at my church?
what if I planted a garden?
what if I recycled more?
what if I got a tattoo?
what if I called an old friend?
what if I visited Texas more often?
what if I helped to plant a church?
what if I told people how I felt about them?

hmm -- good thought/writing fodder! now, your turn.

life lessons

I'm going to employ one of the simplest forms of communication - the list - to talk about life in recent days. I need simple right now. :)

so, I'm learning that:

I can wear bright colors like yellow and orange. this realization brings me great happiness.

it's okay that I've struggled with letting go of the hope of a relationship with a certain someone, but there is a time to move on - and that time is now.

we need one another. I discover who I am in the context of relationship.

I'm broken (even more so than I had previously realized!) and need a savior.

I like the taste of [some] beer. yep, ladies and gents: you read it here. :)

it's fun to experiment with fashion. I've never been one to care much about such things but am starting to have a lot of fun in being creative with what I wear.

bluegrass music makes me ridiculously happy. <3

it's very, very difficult to maintain friendships when separated by many miles. possible, yes, but difficult nonetheless.

moderation is key! - and discovering what 'moderation' is in various situations can be challenging.

it's important to persevere in moments - or days - or situations of discomfort. difficulty or awkwardness aren't so bad, really, and it's in these places that we discover the strength beneath the surface.

French film, food, and people are inspiring. who doesn't want a life filled to the brim with passion (plus fruit, cheese, bread, and wine)? ;)

and hope is just around the corner.

a heart that trusts.

I'm being challenged these days by the example of two women - Lindsey & Larissa - both of whom I've never met and probably never will. In their respective sets of [what most would count as extremely difficult] circumstances, Lindsey and Larissa are living lives marked by grace, peace, patience, and an undeniable faith and trust in Jesus.

Despite being raised by believing parents and walking this road of faith for some time, I often find trusting Jesus to be quite the difficult endeavor. I'll grasp some theological concept or heart lesson, then find myself questioning whether I understood it correctly or - more often than I'd wish - whether it's really true in the first place. I remember seasons during college when I would get so fed up with the seeming endless flood of questions and doubts and my inability to sustain a life of faith. In that place, my walk with the Savior felt so frustrating and fruitless. Lately, the place that I've been in spiritually has been very similar, and I've struggled with how to continue to walk with Jesus in the midst of some unanswered - and seemingly unanswerable - questions.

I find freedom in the knowledge that the Father is not like me. I seriously lack follow-through, but he keeps his promises and makes good on his word every time. I'm learning, now, that it isn't up to me to sustain my faith, but that faith, like all good things, is a gift and is sustained by the Father.

I'm beginning to learn, too, that he is always, always good to his children - even in those circumstances that cause us pain. The psalmist writes, "It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes." I believe that we can learn about and experience the character and attributes of God during all seasons of life, but is it not true that a season of difficulty and pain has a way of reminding us of our need of God and of focusing our attention on those things that are lasting and eternal? Praise God that the jury isn't out on whether he is good every time that I have a difficult day (or month or year)! His goodness, like all of his attributes, is pure and complete.

I may always struggle, to some extent, with doubt - but because HE is steady, both in his character and his love toward me, I am able to come to him on happy days, difficult days, and every other sort of day in between.
Thanks be to God.