Sunday, January 11, 2009

paradoxical.

My heart is alternately heavy and light.

My heart is heavy when I come face-to-face with the heartbreak and hopelessness encountered daily by my new friends at the Mission. It's heavy when I come face-to-face with my own stubbornness, pride, and weakness. Some days, it's heavy merely due to the strength-sapping busyness which has become my constant companion.

But this lightness of heart, while elusive, carries me forward. The experience of beauty in the midst of suffering is truly a sight to behold, unexpectedly causing my heart to jump into my throat and tears to spring to my eyes.

My heart is light when I see hopelessness encountering God's hope, the kind that is everlasting. It's light as my weakness gives way to a strength much greater than my own, unexplainable yet beautifully appropriate to each task at hand. And, sometimes, the busyness ceases to allow for a moment of peaceful reflection, seemingly over the most random of subjects - the kindness of a friend, a quiet walk home in the snow, the sound of voices lifting old hymns to the heavens. All lift my heart.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
Jesus, Matthew's gospel